Really Short Story. PLEASE COMMENT

Here is a prototype short story for the blog! It's titled "Persistence of Combat".

"I stood aboard the IUS (Ikarus Union Ship) Scabbard. Cannons fired at a rival cruiser. Shot pierced the air as lifeboats were released. And I, H. M. Walliker, watched it all from a eerily comforting cabin. BANG! The Scabbard was hit! I simply sighed. I knew this ship was unsinkable, but how long would it take for the enemy to realize it? 'Fire a hydro-missile, Level 314B,' I said calmly into the radio to a captain below deck. 'We're going to finish this.' 'For Duke Vaska!' the captain shouted back. 'Our country needs this victory badly. If we don't succeed, the Duke will not be pleased,' I replied more tense than before. 'That hydro-missile better not miss...' I heard a sound underneath me, something like gears turning. I peered over the edge of the open cabin and saw a rounded black object:the hydro-missile. I prayed that the crew had chosen one of the cloakable missiles, and, sure enough, the missile slowly faded into the background. There was no way that the enemy could win if this baby hit them. It packs the punch of 2 hydrogen bombs and moves at 60 miles per hour. The missile would hit the enemy ten seconds after launch. Finally, the captain said, 'Ten seconds to victory...' I saw ripples run through the water. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1... BOOM! The FFS (Farren Federacy Ship) Pike split into two and sunk into the Sea of Troika. 'Victory is ours...' I murmured.

There you have it! The first short story in my short story series 'The Ikarus Chronicles'.